- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
- I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.
- Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes me feel good.
- You go girl! And don’t come back.
- Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.
- I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
- That is the ugliest top Ive ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.
- Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?
- I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
- Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems
- Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.
- You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth
- Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It must be none of your business.
- Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.
- I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…
- ’ll help you out…the same way you came in.
- I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
- If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.
- I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.
- You sound better with your mouth closed.
- If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever
- Look at you your in perfect shape……………for a circle
- Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
- Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
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