Funny Sarcastic Quotes – Best Sarcasm Quotes and Sayings

Funny Sarcastic Quotes

Hitting Someone Publicly is Prohibited & You’ll get Arrested. So, Some People choose to being Sarcastic. Funny Sarcastic Quotes are the Best way to Insult the Fool or Idiots & get out of it. So, Start Using Your Brain & Read Our Sarcasm Quotes, Because Sarcastic People are Smarter then Normal Ones. So, Here We have given a Collection of Funny Sarcastic Quotes for You. You can also use these Sarcasm Quotes to Insult Your Friends.


Funny Sarcastic Quotes

Top 25 Funny Sarcastic Quotes

  1. Take my advice — I’m not using it.
  2. A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
  3. Don’t regret doing things, regret getting caught.
  4. I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
  5. Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.
  6. Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
  7. Don’t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
  8. Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
  9. I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.
  10. You sound better with your mouth closed.
  11. Well, at least your mom thinks you’re pretty…
  12. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.
  13. You know you’re awesome when people you don’t even know hate you.
  14. Tell me how I have upset you because I want to know how to do it again.
  15. If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.
  16. I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
  17. Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
  18. I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.
  19. You always do me a favor, when you shut up!
  20. I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
  21. I don’t hate you. Its just my attitude has problems with your personality.
  22. If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.
  23. If you see me smiling it’s because I’m thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it’s because I’ve already done it.
  24. When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
  25. Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.


100 Funny Sarcastic Quotes


  1. I’M 2% Cute & 98% Single.
  2. All You Need Is Love 5M $.
  3. I’M Like Monday. Nobody Likes Me.
  4. True Love: I Love More Than Free Wi-Fi.
  5. Your Crush + Fast Replies = Imagination.
  6. I’ve Never Faked A Sarcasm In My Life.
  7. Are You Free Tomorrow? No I’M Expensive.
  8. I Love Education But Without Examination.
  9. Avracadabra ! Nope. You’re Still A Bitch.
  10. You Remind Me Of My Chinese Friend. Lee
  11. World Biggest Lie ” I’ll Always With You “.
  12. Let’s Just Stay Friends = Never Talk Again.
  13. Money Can Buy Happiness, It’s Called “Food”.
  14. First Rule Of 2017 ” Never Talk About 2016 “.
  15. Conjuring 2 Is For Kids. Real Men Get Married.
  16. Not Everyone Likes Me But Not Everyone Matters.
  17. If You Are Late, Don’t Rush You’re Already Late.
  18. Sarcasm : Just One Of The Many Services I Offer.
  19. If You Don’t Have Something Nice To Say, Hush It.
  20. I Don’t Understand You. I Don’t Speak Assholian.
  21. Always Be Yourself, Except During Job Interviews.
  22. Losing Your Best Friend Is Worse Than A Break Up.
  23. I Am ” Eats Ice Cream In Winter ” Type Of Person.
  24. Single Bell….….Single All The Way.
  25. Life Is Full Of Fake People. Don’t Trust Blindly.
  26. I Would Slap You, But That Would Be Animal Abuse.
  27. Every Year Thousand People Quit Smoking, By Dying !
  28. I’M Single Because Nobody Believes That I’M Single.
  29. I Was On Diet For 30 Days & All I Lost Was 30 Days.
  30. Yes, I’M Online 24X7, But I Hardly Chat With Anyone.
  31. If Nobody Hates You. You Are Doing Something Boring.
  32. People Get Mad When You Treat Them How They Treat You.
  33. Happiness Is You And Your Best Friend Hate Same Person.
  34. Sarcasm Is The Body’s Natural Defense Against Stupidity.
  35. Don’t Get Emotionally Attached To Anyone.

    Funny Sarcastic Quotes



  36. My Secret Talent Is Getting Tired Without Doing Anything.
  37. Don’t Remind Me How Old I Am ! I’ll Always Watch Cartoons.
  38. My Problem Is That I Hate Maths But I Love Counting Money.
  39. I Love All The Religions Because They All Bring Holidays !
  40. Studying Is My Drug. But Thanks To God. I Say No To Drugs.
  41. Don’t Be Ashamed Of Who You Are. That’s Your Parent’s Job.
  42. Everyone Is Matured Until Someone Brings Out  Bubble Wrap !
  43. To Be Old & Wise, You Must First Have To Be Young & Stupid.
  44. Sarcasm : Because Beating The Crap Out Of People Is Illegal.
  45. The Hardest Part Of My Job Is…Being Nice To Stupid People !
  46. Never Laugh At Your Girlfriend’s Choice. You Are One Of Them.
  47. It’s Okay If You Don’t Like Me…Not Everyone Has Good Taste.
  48. If You Want A Sarcastic Answer, Don’t Ask A Stupid Question.
  49. I Live For Two Reasons. 1 ) I Was Born 2 ) I Haven’t Died Yet.
  50. Tom & Jerry Taught Me That Life Is Incomplete Without Enemies.
  51. Dear 2017 : Make Sure You Don’t Come Up With Temporary People !
  52. I’M Actually Not Funny. I’M Just Mean & People Think I’M Joking.
  53. I Don’t Believe In Plastic Surgery. But In Your Case, Go Ahead.
  54. Brain Logic : Let’s Insult Our Best Friend Ore Than Our Enemies.
  55. Just Wanna Be Rich Enough To Buy My Mom Everything She Deserves.
  56. Show Me You’re Different & I won’t Treat You Like You’re Typical.
  57. Thanks To The Wrong People In Life. They Teach The Right Lessons.
  58. Sarcasm : The Ability To Insult Idiots Without Them Realizing It.
  59. I’M Sorry What Language Are You Speaking ? It Sounds Like Bullshit.
  60. Behind Every Successful Person…There’s Lot Of Unsuccessful Years.

    Best Funny Sarcastic Quotes



  61. Damaged People Are More Dangerous Because They Know How To Survive.
  62. Everything Is Like Either Expensive, Illegal Or Won’t Text Me Back.
  63. The World Is Filled With Good People. If You Can’t Find One, Be One.
  64. 3 People Who Call Me. 1) My Mom. 2 ) Wrong Number. 3 ) Customer Care.
  65. Closing Your Eyes After Turning Off The Alarm Is Very Dangerous Game.
  66. Don’t Respect Her Because She’s A Girl. Respect Her Because You’re Man.
  67. If The Teacher Tell You To Get Out, It Means You Have Won The Argument.
  68. The Luckiest Are Those Who Fall Asleep As Soon As They Close Their Eyes.
  69. Why People Buy Guitars Now A Days. 10% To Play, 90% To Click Profile Pic.
  70. I Want One Of Those Jobs Where I Get Paid For Travelling Around The World.
  71. Don’t Judge A Book By It’s Cover. Don’t Judge A Student By His Percentage.
  72. May Be You Should Eat Some Makeup So You Can Be Pretty On The Inside Too.
  73. My Girlfriend Is So Good At Playing Hide And Seek. I Haven’t Found Her Yet.
  74. We Don’t Need Cctv Camera In Our Country. Neighbours & Relatives Are Enough.
  75. When People Ask Stupid Questions I Feel Obligated To Give Sarcastic Answers.
  76. I Don’t Care What People Think Of Me. At Least Mosquitoes Find Me Attractive !
  77. When I’M Free No One Texts Me ! & When I’M Busy. Bam ! Still No One Texts Me !
  78. True Bonding Is When You And Your Friends Are All Angry About The Same Thing.
  79. If You Think Nobody Cares If You’re Alive, Try Missing A Couple Of Car Payments.
  80. We All Have That One Teacher Who Give You Amazing Marks On Matter What You Write.
    Funny Sarcastic Quotes



  81. From The Moment I Saw You, I Knew I Was Gonna Spend He Rest Of My Life Avoiding You.
  82. Babies Are So Lucky. They Can Sleep All The Day And Everyone Still Would Be Proud Of Them.
  83. I’M Sorry I Hurt Your Feelings When I Called You Stupid. I Really Thought You Already Knew.
  84. You Cried All Night ? You Were Hurt ? And No One Knows ? Congratulations ! You Are Mature Now.
  85. I May Look Calm, But Inside My Mind I’ve Killed You 20 Times, In 5 Mins, In 20 Different Ways.
  86. My Attitude In Exams. They Give Me Questions I Don’t Know. I Give Them Answers They Don’t Know.
  87. I Can Only Please One Person Per Day. Today Is Not Your Day. Tomorrow Doesn’t Look Good Either.
  88. I Love Texting People Who Reply Super Fast. It Makes Me Feel Like They Really Want To Talk To Me.
  89. Bring Able To Respond With Sarcasm Within Seconds Of Stupid Question Is A Sign Of A Healthy Brain.
  90. At Age Of 25, Others Want To Get Married And Have Kids But I Want My Parents In The Backseat Of My Audi
    More Funny Sarcastic Quotes



  91. There Are Two Types Of People In The World. 1 ) People Who Understand And Appreciate Sarcasm 2 ) Idoits.
  92. Askhole. A Person Who Constantly Asks For Your Advice, Yet Always Does The Opposite Of What You Told Them.
  93. Need Money For College, Need College For A Job. Need A Job For Money. Who Was The Mastermind Behind This System ?
  94. What’s The Point Of Education If You Still Throw Garbage On Street To Be Ultimately Picked By An Uneducated Person ?
  95. If You Want To Change The World, Do It While You’re Single. Once You’re Married You Can’t Even Change The T.V Channel.
  96. Not All Girls Are Made Of Sugar And Spice And Everything Nice. Some Girls Are Made Of Sarcasm, Wind And Everything Fine.
  97. I’M Sorry, I Didn’t Realize That You’re And Expert On My Life And How I Should Live It ! Please Continue While I Takes Notes.
  98. The Whole Purpose Of Sending A Text Is To Get A Reply Within Seconds Or Minutes Otherwise I Would Have Sent A Letter By F***In Mail.
  99. My Future Wife Would Be Probably Texting Her Boyfriend About How They’re Gonna Stay Together. Haha, See You In A Couple Of Years, Sweetie.


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